Bingo, bang-on, bulls-eye -- you hit the nail on the head, Spirit! That's it!

Once upon a time (OK...1986), I was at a very intense therapy training, and one of the exercises was for us to imagine that our primary defense mechanism was a toy. I was so proud of myself, 'cause I invented the most dastardly, deadly, fail-safe ICE BALL. It had deep-freeze spikes that would instantly freeze to death anyone who got too close. It had a zillion other weapons (can't recall what they were now), and the facilitators of the workshop gave me "top marks" for the most impenetrable defense. At the time, I was so proud of myself. Now...I see that as a decidedly mixed blessing...

Just last night I was experimenting with some imagery while cuddled with my husband on the couch. We were watching a movie and he had his arm/hand across my chest. I thought the word "Receive" ... and chose to feel his hand, his energy, in contact with me. Amazing! There was a certain kind of warmth that I sensed radiating at our point of contact. I said nothing to my man...but later, in bed, I also tried it by putting my own hand over my heart and whispering "Receive ... receive ..." to myself. WOW.

We're finally feeling a thaw, eh?

The thing about love...no matter who it's shared with...it'll break our hearts. Guaranteed. Break them open...break them down...break them through...

It happens with anyone, human or otherwise, whom you allow yourself to love. I think of all the people I've loved and who have loved me ... some are now dead ... and all the cats I have adored ... several have gone ... There are some souls I miss so much that every once in a while could chew off my own arm, I want to touch them, see them, smell them, hold them so bad. But my god, it's all so worth it. Nothing else matters like this. To love and be loved. It's ultimately what has kept me sane and alive. My husband has asked me this question -- "What got you through??" -- several times, almost as if he's been asking me to hone a response -- whittle it down to the essential. Bottom line? = Love.

Not long ago I read these words of Leonard Cohen in a new way:

Forget your perfect offering!
Ring the bells that still can ring.
There's a crack in everything --
That's how the light gets in.

The realization I had was "Of course! There has to be a crack...!" That's how the light gets in.

Wow, wow, wow...and what the hell, I thought: it's bound to happen, that cracking...I mean, after all, I'm 49 years old...done a little living...

Thanks, Spirit...sounds like you are going through a major Spring growth spurt!