I typed this one out before and then it got eaten into cyber space and lost.

ONE more time:

An elderly woman rushed into a vet clinic cradling a duck in her arms! She yelled out - I think my duck is dead please help me! The vet came rushing out took the duck from her and raced into the examining room with the duck and lady on his heels.

He looked at the duck and said he believed the duck was dead. She challenged him - how do you know? You haven't done anything. He said OK.

He went to the kennel door and whistled, a black lab appeared wagging its tail. The vet called him over and tapped the examination table so the lab would put his paws up on the edge of the table and check out the duck.

The lab sniffed the duck all over and jumped down leaving with his tails between his legs. Next the vet went to the door and made kissing sounds.
A cat appeared rubbing his legs, he placed the cat on the table to play with the duck. As the cat sniffed and batted with his paws nothing happened. The cat jumped down and left the room.

He repeated himself that the duck was dead. The lady, resigned, said OK how much do I owe you? The vet began writing out the bill and said that will be 175.00 please. The lady said, "W H A T? But you didn't do anything!"

The vet replied, "you wouldn't believe me so I did the lab tests, and the cat scan to assure your duck was dead. That will be 175.00 please."


This is a safe joke for all ages and sexes.