Once you have that moment or day in the "now" it is so hard to hang on to it.

We are some comfortable in the cycle we have created in our lives. We are so afraid of change and the unknown. In a sense it is losing control of what's next and letting go of the familiar. But to continue to live and grow into the people we were pre-trauma we have to let go of the familiar.

I don't think we come out the other side of all this work the same person at all. I think the trauma's have changed us for life and how we view the world is a lot different once we have repaired the emotional and physical damage.
Sometimes I feel like I'm living in an empty shell.

I do believe for us to respond to the now, we have to be willing to see it for what it is and limit our past coloring on the now. The past experiences can influence how we live in the now but we are in control of how they influence it.

I recognize it takes a lot of work to limit the pasts influence on living now but the first step is recognizing how our choices today reflect our experiences of the past and we do not have to respond in old safe patterns but can create new safe responses.