I absolutely agree with everything you stated

I get the living in a shell feeling - I once explained this feeling as if I was a walnut shell only the walnut inside was withered and had lost all of it's miosture. I felt like I was rattling around in that shell, helpless and withered.

Not anymore, I can feel the moisture coming back.......

That was a good insight Cindy and I connected with your words.

I do ask myself this though; what if your trauma happened at an essential part of your growth and develpoment (at an early age)? How does this change you? I feel like my traumas have always coloured my perception of the world and I guess they have defined who I have been for along time. I guess who I am inside, who I crave to share with the world and express is who I really am. And, yes I reckon I will come through my healing a different person, but for me it will be the person that I have always wanted to be, not someone that was lost! I was never really given the chance to find me in the first plalce. So is who I becoem who I would could of been? Am I finally defining myself? Does it really matter? Does that make sense?

Spirit x