Is it common for PTSD sufferers to lavish attention on the child who wasn't around for the trauma, while being unusually hard on the family members who were? My husband seems wonderful with my little girl, who was born about a year after he returned from Iraq. But my older son seems to get on his nerves almost as much as I do. But I'm by far the most abrasive to him. I feel like everything I do gets on his nerves, some days more so than others. I really thought it was getting better - the other day he actually sat down and talked to me about what happened to him while in Iraq and how it affected him, which he had never talked about before. I thought that was a huge step. But then today he came home from work, and it seemed that everything I said caused him to either ignore me or get irritated with me. I gave him a little time to himself, thinking maybe that would help. Then I went into the bedroom to talk to him about it and he flew into a rage almost immediately. He said I had no idea what was going on in his head, (he's right about that, but I'm trying) and I needed to shut the f*** up about it. I told him I was just trying to fix our marriage, and he got mad, punched a hole in the wall, screamed a few obscenities at me, and screeched away in his truck. Now I'm sitting here praying he doesn't get into an accident because he drives very aggressively when he's like this. And I don't know if I should try calling his cell, or if that will make everything worse. I feel like he connects well with my youngest daughter, possibly because he doesn't equate her with what was probably the worst part of his life. But I'm starting to wonder if my son and I are safe here with him. I'm also starting to wonder if this is a good environment for two small children. I don't want them to grow up thinking that this is a normal marriage. At the same time, I don't want to leave him while he is being treated for this - I'm sure it would make things worse for him if the kids and I were not in his life. He's told me so himself.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? If so, how did you handle it? Or maybe someone who is in HIS situation can give me some insight into what he's thinking? I'm totally at a loss here - any advice would be greatly appreciated.