Heartbroken,
I would remind him that he was not feeling this bad before Iraq, and that maybe he needs psychological help to get past his feelings. He is not weak for seeking help now; war is too difficult for gentle people to go through unscathed, and you want your husband back. If not for your sake, do it for your son's. Imagine how he sees daddy's anger, but he can't understand it. Children blame themselves for the anger of adults because they can't understand adult concepts and emotions.

Try to get him into either the VA psych or a civilian psychologist as soon as possible. I am a 100% service-connected disabled Desert Storm veteran. I have PTSD, but what your husband went through was far worse than my war.

When he is calm, tell him that next time he gets angry, to talk to you, but not break objects or drive. Make those ground rules for arguments. Keep saying you love him, and you trust him, and he should trust you with his thoughts. No human being should see what he did over there, and no, you don't 'understand' because you weren't there, but you want to show him that you care. He is home now, so it's safe to open up about what happened.

2quilt