Nic,

Do you know exactly what she was referring to when she said "self destructive". Was it because you have PTSD or was it because she knows that you have done some self-destructive things in the past?

I had a child without being with my daughter's father (I didn't want him in my life anymore). Once I had her, a lot of my "self destructive" behaviors ended. Though if it weren't for my dad and now my husband, I don't know if I would have been able to take care of my daughter, but I think you and I suffer from different PTSD symptoms. I have rage and am hypervigilant, my moods are unpredictable, and I don't sleep well. Combine that with the occasional depressive episode and I can be a mess at times and nonfunctional, which is when my husband and dad step in. I love my daughter more than anything in the world, but I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not a very maternal person and I'm not having anymore children.

Just because you have PTSD does not mean that you shouldn't have a child on your own. There are tons of single women who do it. I do, however, hope that you plan on going through therapy this summer (I remember a separate thread about this). Think about all of the procedures and many visits to the doctor that you will have to endure - and there are tons of them.

It seems that you thrive best when you are around kids and maybe having a child of your own will be a positive thing for you. Maybe it wouldn't be for some other woman with PTSD, but I don't think we should all be lumped into one category. We are still individuals.

Best,
Rachel