I guess we all got caught up in the moral concern of this thread. I do believe that I highlighted some issues that could be CONSTRUED as self-destructive behaviour.

I guess as I am a single parent with PTSD and a difficult past that I am trying to resolve, this issue hit/pressed my button(s).

As I always point out life IS about 'individual differences' so what is true for someone with a similar background may not be for another person in similar circumstances.

I still have my own issues concerning nic's proposal - there are just so many dynamics here at play:

My history has affected my realtionship with my child - in different ways. One of those has been while he has started to become an adolscent and physically change from a child into a young man. His physical attributes, his gender and his sexual growth could of been a trigger if I was not where I am in my healing process.

When my PTSd symptoms have been at there worst I have not performed as the kind of mother I would like to be! If you are not too far along in the healing process- this has the potential to just become more guilt and more negative inward thinkning concerning your actions. Not conducive to healing!

My child is learning through example as we all do, modelling. Some of my examples are not the way I want him to see life. My inability to have a stable realtionship. Or perhaps more importantly to nurture one that is! I do not want him to believe that love can be so unstable. I have to explain to him why it has been this way for me up until now, so that he is not jaded by that!

Single parent is a whole other ball game........

Of course there are many pluses to being a parent, and a lot of beautiful ones.

I guess a professional person should not come across as judgemental, but perhaps go through the pros and cons of any choice.

Nonetheless, irrespective of labels PTSD is a disorder that has many dynamics that can make it difficult for a person to function in a reasonable and healthy manner. That does not mean that you should be labelled as self-destructive because you choose something for yourself. It means that you should at least be as realsitc and practical as you can. I am not entering into a relationship because I am healing myself. I know for a fact that right now I could not offer the 'best of me'. That does not negate the fact that I would love to be in a relationship. I understand I am not ready, and if someone suggested to me that perhaps if I was to entertain that thought at the moment becuase of my issues with my PTSd symptoms, that I was not being very practical - I would stare them in the face and say, 'you know what you are probably right', that is because I know that this is the right choice for me.


This is all life is really, choices. We have to live with them!



Life eh!

Spirit x