It is crazy-making, sometimes, Unbroken. PTSD is hard on all concerned, the sufferer and the carers who love them.

My DH has fallen into a pattern of threatening to leave me whenever he gets upset (whether with me or life in general). Then, a few hours later, or a day later, he will act as if nothing happened - he got the venom out of his system and he's "fine". I discussed this pattern with him when he was doing OK, and he acknowledged that what he really wants when he does that is for me to let him know that I want him and need him. It is an odd way of trying to get that, but there you go - PTSD is a difficult thing to deal with, for all of us.

There is also a desire to escape, at least with my DH - part of him would like to run far, run fast and escape the PTSD. But of course, it follows him everywhere, because it is inside him. There is no ability to run, the fight or flight response is raging in his body and his mind, but running isn't an option, and there's no one to fight now that he's safe. So, he threatens to run, and he rages, but he really wants me to tell him he is loved and needed and that he has worth.

It makes for some very confusing blow-ups, to be sure. There have been times where he's raging, comes to me for a hug and reassurance, and then starts raging again.

If you stay with her, you are going to have to learn to set boundaries. It will help your own mental health, and it might help to stabilize her, at least to a degree.

We probably could use a thread or set of threads on boundaries and how to define them. Boundaries seem hugely important in coping as a PTSD carer (from my experience anyway).

Best wishes,

Cowgirl