thank you all, yes it did have me in a complete funk yesterday and I felt like my head was going to explode from confusion. I, too, think it's great that she wanted to go with me to the therapist, it shows me that she truly does want to work together with me on better communication.

She did start to rehash the other night, and I kept asking her if we could both just learn from it and move on. I was getting frustrated because she kept asking me the same thing numerous times, and then went into why she dislikes her niece so much, and others in her life. After that we veered into better conversations and she was including me in her life again with regards to future plans.

I know I probably reacted a little harsh and too quickly, I guess I was at my breaking point and felt like I couldn't win for losing. I'm also learning to just apologize and let her feel a small victory over me because that is often follwed with her apology and acknowledgment that we both need to work on it, and not just me. I can handle losing the small arguments if it means that I have her in the end, because I now realize that it's not about me...it's about her need for validation and control over her own emotions.

That last boyfriend that beat her up seems to have done the most damage, it just tears me up when she tells me about it. She's tiny, he's over 6 feet tall.