Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa  It dictates when I go out generally, what I talk about, if I talk. It dictates the friendships I make, the distance I keep, the secrets I keep. It dictates if I work,personal relationships, I don't have relationships or boyfriends. I don't consider myself a part of society, ... I lead a double life. |
I can totally relate with everything quoted! I often feel like I live a double life.
The life on the inside that I feel it the true me and the life on the outside that is a false representation fulfilling what 'normal' looks like.
Although employed, there are times I am totally unproductive just doing the motions and counting the minutes to return to my cacoon. Relationships outside of work - zilch pretty much. All relationships are shallow and non-invasive into me and who I am. Betrayel is my worst fear. Intimacy - I need a manual for Dummies ... It's a wonder I even participate sometimes in life. Some times I just don't care, it doesn't seem worth it.