It is great that you realize its not about you, but her. I am sure your Appointment at the T will help to her to realize how she can say what she needs to in a less confrontational way. Not about a win or loose, its about partnership. Good for you for being so open to her pain.
It sounds like she trusts you alot, probably scared how to show it.
Beatings are just so wrong. my heart goes out to you all