Jim, I don't think you're crossing any inappropriate boundaries. The only one who did was that priest.

Just clarify with your daughter what you all want, need, and are willing to do. Let her guide you -- she is the one who was assaulted. If she says No more, then I hope you will honour her wish. She might change her mind; she might not.

You've got other parents who can be supports and friends through whatever actions you choose to take.

Bless you and your wife for being protective, loving, assertive parents!

Roo