Hi Mortiss. Sounds like your having it a bit rough right now.

I had a cycle late last year that lasted about 2 months. Started with me giving up my meds, including effexor, and ended up with me drunk in Cuba. Had left the boyfriend, the responsibilities, and everyone who gave a nickle about me behind. I hated myself so much at that point, I certainly didnt think anyone should have to put up with my... stuff.

It really seems to me that I sabatoge myself. WHen I start to feel a certain level of normalacy, I do something to mess it up. Issues of deserving to be happy, I guess. And I hate for everybody to see me like this. So then I leave the whole mess of them behind.

Babbling here. Sorry. But I thought I heard something familiar in your words. I am struggling with getting past the front door. Literally. This was my big step out before I hit the real world.

So good luck to you in your class. Maybe it will turn the tide, so to speak. Maybe if you explain to your girlfriend, like you just did here, that you love her dearly... maybe she wont go. Or she will give you what space you need to heal yourself. Let her know there is something going on with you, maybe she will be able to help.