Bulldog, welcome to the forum. You are not a loser, although I do understand that feeling all too well. I would suggest that you find out everything you can about PTSD. There is plenty of information on this site to keep you busy for a while. Maybe that will help you to realise that everything you are feeling is 'normal' when you have PTSD. Whilst we all have different causes of PTSD, PTSD is PTSD. You are not alone. There are loads of us here who have felt and DO feel the way you do. There are also many very wise and knowledgable people here, when it comes to PTSD. I'm sure you will find some support and help here.
Take care