Today I feel tired and sad. My two youngest girls birthday's were yesterday and today. In the years since I gave them up I have mostly come to terms or at least gotten past the major depression that used to come on their birthdays, holidays, and such. But after working all day yesterday I went home and bawled for a while. Was ok afterwards, Brent and I watched a movie and then went to bed.

But I still feel really down today. It really hit me that at 11 and 12 they are now their own people now and I don't know who they are. I do not know if they are happy, sad or even ok.