cypher,
Please understand, you cannot help your mom. The help she needs is way to complicated for you. Leave it in the professionals hands. I always said anyone can be a father or mother but it takes a special person that treats you with dignity and honor and love and compassion to be a real parent. I have searched all my life for a replacement mom even while my mom was alive. It just didn't happen. I am a mom and grandmother so I quit looking and desiring and wanting someone to hold me and say I love you like a real mom does. I am 55, it won't happen.
You have got to realize what your mom did is not normal and she left you for dead. I know one still says "but it's my mom". I am sorry, I thought my mom was terrible and I didn't talk to her much because I couldn't get over how she could keep hurting me they way she did. I now realize she was sick. She didn't do nearly the terrible things your mom did. You must move on w/o a mom. It would take a miracle for her to change even if she went off the drugs and got help for her to be a real mom to you.
How old are you? Let the law handle her and please stay away, she will only hurt you emotionally putting you on a guilt trip and making you feel worse than you already do. You need to heal and that can only happen w/o her. Excuse me for saying this but I would put in my mind she has passed away so you can begin to heal.
This story has really touched me and a little part of me tried to say it is fictional. Nothing like this could have happened. I do realize in this crazy world it could. I will pray for you and your healing. Please listen to me and Anthony and the rest of this group. Anthony is a very wise man and does give excellant advise. I am afraid for you.
sunnydaze