Sometimes I'll go days without crying, other times, I can't shut it off. Music often gets me, especially if they have lyrics that hit me. There are many songs that I try to sing along, and can't get through it without crying. I often try to make myself listen over and over, until I can sing it. It's very hard to do. There's a song by Peter Gabriel, called, Darkness, that is like the theme song for PTSD. It gets me every time.

I try not to let anyone see me cry. They don't understand, and it makes me feel like a freak. When I feel a "meltdown" coming on, I try to hold it in, until everybody else has gone to bed. Then, I go sit in the car, inside the garage, and yell and scream and sob, until I'm exhausted.