After starting therapy and writing this yesterday I have not been able to stop thinking of all the stuff in my life that I never considered as part of any problem let alone PTSD. I know thats all part of the deal though. Yesterday was as well a Memorial for a friend who died after partying to much on his birthday last weekend. He was his grandmothers sole provider and care taker. She raised him because his parents were too messed up with there own alcohol problems. Man It's really not a fair world is it.

I think later I might try writing on the Trauma board or whatever it's called. But I have to go to see one of the social securities doctors this morning. I'm sure thats going to be a blast. although physically the problems are real and they should easily see that. I just feel crappy having to go and redo all the testing my doctors already put me through. It's not like my cardiologist or my therapist are just trying to help me scam the government. But thats how the treat me or at least thats how I perceive it. Maybe I'm just paranoid ?

Thanks for the reply it does help to be able to talk about this stuff.