I have done similar things. It makes you feel so out of control. And on top of that you are seething. Reflecting on the times it has occurred I think if we could pick up on the building up of the stress or anxiety and diffuse it earlier to prevent the explosion it would be better managed.

Instead of stewing for so long let it out in dribs and drabs. Taking frequent diversionary breaks from the stressful situation. Physical exercise, simple task like cleaning out the refrigerator, etc. Another strategy if you have people that will be responsive, share with them your expectations to chip in and help you out. Talk to the 16 year old and ask for cooperation in handling the younger child and her managing her frustrations better while Mom is away.

I guess overall my response is try to diffuse it before it explodes by identifying the build up.