Hi Buzy,
I'm new here too. I feel you are in crisis right now, and through no fault of your own, won't be able to get out of it for a while or get a chance to manage it. In the meantime, you still have to function. While I am NOT a doctor or medical profession, I think you would be justified at this point to ask for some medications to help you cope with the extreme stress of your situation and allow you to function to do what you have to do (deal with the court, take care of your children). Of course, you don't want your kids to be left without you, so do whatever it takes to get on track ... meds, hire help if you can afford it, ASK for help from family and friends. That judge made you feel incompetent and that will make you do the exact opposite of what you need to do: get help. Notwithstanding your PTS, EVERY MOM needs help at some point. Don't feel like a failure if you need it now and reach out for it. If you cannot do it for yourself, do it for your kids and that may make it easier to take the first step. Good luck to youl.