Your doing extremely well here Cypher, and the best thing you did was start this process and now you have taken it into therapy. This is exactly what this forum does... gets you to air things out, get you past the initial fear, then get talking about it here, therapy, wherever required providing your getting good feedback and being pushed along the right paths to help yourself find the answers that best suit you.

Well done... Baby steps... that's all it takes. Two steps forward, one step back, is better than no steps forward.