Good for you....

Abuse is a very difficult subject with some people, and I know it is with me. My father was very abusive and as a result I'm very easily intimidated when people get mad at me. Since my girlfriend is both PTSD and bipolar I don't think she understands that when she snaps at me over petty, meaningless things it really rips me apart. She knows about my past and that I haven't spoken to my father in over 25 years, and that my mother wants nothing to do with me, but she doesn't seem to take that into consideration with the way she treats me. Her solution? "You need to let go of the past", almost oblivious to the fact that she can't let go of hers.

I understand her situation, so I try to be more accommodating when she's having a bad day. But when she she says something hurtful and doesn't like how I react to it, she just goes off the deep end and gets mean, and often spiteful. I've seen some of her emails she sent to her family when she was arguing with someone and she honestly thinks that none of it was brought on by her. I don't know how to tell her that she takes things way more personal than she needs to.

I'm not perfect, but when she makes a comment that strikes my nerves, I get uncomfortable and have a hard time talking, and she just goes into attack mode. Not that you're doing this, but sometimes I just feel like she expects way too much from me, and for me to just let go of 17 years of beatings and verbal/mental abuse at her beckon call. I don't know how to tell her that I do have some repressed emotions and although I don't talk about them every day they are still buried deep inside. I've accepted my childhood for what it was, but that doesn't mean I've cozied up to it like it was okay. It still leaves me feeling very confused at times, but she just doesn't get it.

Best wishes for you two....