Your definately into punishing yourself, aren't you? Returning to the location of the trauma is generally a very large step, one which most never do until they are at peace with themself. They generally use it as a final healing process. I think this is merely prolonging your trauma, and making you worse.
I don't know myself how you handle it, or do it. Thats are seriously tough decision on your part. I don't doubt for a second you would be anxious before and then after revisiting the place of your trauma.
It must be pretty tough for you Piglet, when the trauma has occured as a result of family, and within your families home. That must be pretty tough for you. I imagine you having to decide, do I see my family, or don't I because of the traumatic surroundings! Only you know what is right for yourself though... pretty tough decision you have to make. Damn....
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by piglet I talked to my mum about work and that I'm having problems again. She says she doesn't understand. She was freaked out, but trying hard to pretend that she wasn't. My Dad just complained about having toothache. |
Yer, did you expect anything different response? I know my family sort of knows about PTSD, but they don't understand what happens to me, what has happened to me, nor what goes on inside me. Well... no body could really be expected too actually unless they have PTSD. I don't even think about it anymore, when people close don't understand. I kinda just rub it off and let it go, as I know they couldn't understand, even if they wanted too.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by piglet My mum immediately jumped up and started fussing round him (I told her 2 years ago about some of the abuse), looking at me as if to say "please don't start anything". |
How did that make you feel? I imagine it wasn't very good.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by piglet Since I got back home I have been hot, with the shakes and feeling sick. I am also very tired, but I am afraid of what the night will bring. |
Yer, this is pretty standard with us. I hate feeling that way, and I know Kerrie-Ann doesn't really understand when I get sick, she seems to think an hour or two of sleep will fix it, but it doesn't. Its so much more than that. Its like we have to start from scratch again with the traumatic incident/s that we have endured. It takes our bodies and minds a little time to get on top of things again, and actually realise that this isn't new to us, and we know we can control it through exercise, relaxation, etc etc.
Its tough, and I think your doing pretty well for even returning to your parents house. I know if it were me, I would make them come to me... thus I can control the circumstances in which the visit occurs, so I don't end up sick for days afterwards.
Wow....