Hugs to you KimG, you have bravely tackled one of the largest fears of your past. Now that you've faced it and named it, you've have stripped it of it's power over you. That's Blessing number 1.

Blessing #2 - seeing relatives now as an adults vs. as a child. I also had this experience with an Uncle and was so relieved to find out that he knew all about the horrible relationship I had with my father. He even expressed his guilt to me saying that at the time he was just a young newlywed and didn't know what to do to help me; he's lived silently with that pain all these years too! So what a Blessing to know that your family doesn't think you are nuts (actually that your brother IS) and that not only did they help you heal, but your reemergence in their lives touched them and has helped heal a part of their past as well. Every positive step you take in your personal journey will touch the lives of many others - most of whom you will never even know about!

Blessing #3 - going to the cemetary and shedding tears. As painful as it must have been, those were tears of grief and anger from long ago that were never shed. Think of them like ahshes, as they fell down your cheeks didn't you wipe them away? You wiped away those old ashes of emotions that have burned themsouves out. You are now free of them. Your "emotional closet" has been cleaned out a lot; now you have room in there for beautiful things.

Blessing #4 - your darling Warren. He not only physically "did the driving" but metaphorically did so as well. He bravely went with you on this journey, helped you do some of the leg work to track down people and places. What a wonderful gift he gave you from his heart. But don't forget that you gave him a gift as well: you allowed him to help you. He was finally able to help you and be there for you instead of sitting by helplessly as you have nightmares, mood swings and the like. You two have cemented your bond to eachother a little more solidly and hand in hand have taken a huge step forward putting the past that much farther behind you!