Sometimes I think having PTSD was beneficial, in an odd sort of way. It made studying difficult. And I was a nervous wreck.
I knew I was not a normal, well-adjusted person. I knew I would have to somehow claw my way into being a productive member of society, but at that time, I did not think I could make it unless I had some kind of major card up my sleeve.
I don't know if I would have stuck with it the way I did had things been different.