The relapse doesn't *really* surprise me, I guess, just frustrating in many respects, especially as it's affecting my ability to work so much (that, after a current knee reconstruction and possible Ross River which I'm being tested for now, doesn't make me an ideal candidate to start the retail position I'm starting tomorrow! But we'll see if I can make it work.)

As I first started therapy at 15 (when I received my diagnosis, lucky they caught it early!) I was with a counsellor who probably wasn't that qualified for fairly intensive PTSD symptoms, while she was empathic, compassionate, and put herself through PTSD courses, we only really started to scrape at the tip of the iceberg, and even though I saw her for 3 years, I knew that when I stopped therapy it wasn't over.

But I enjoyed a slight 'reprieve', while my anxiety got worse, a lot of the flashbacks went under the surface and mainly manifested in vague feelings of fear or apprehension, and a whole lot of nightmares. But now I'm 24, and things have come to a head again. So I'm seeing a psychologist who seems well-equipped to deal with PTSD (I'm up to my fourth session with her, I think), and basically making sure that I know I'm not alone. I have this terrible and unsurprising habit of distancing myself just before I mentally crash, and then I hate myself for being all alone. Silly. So when I'm not too unstable, I make sure I DO have a support network. Then I don't sabotage myself too badly.

Probably more than anyone needs to know, but I'm actually very excited about this forum. No one else in my life - bar one person - has had PTSD, and she lives a long way away and hasn't really confronted it. So it's good to meet other people who are prepared or are doing the hard long slog that it is to heal and make our lives better.