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Originally Posted by heartbroken  But I think most of it may be my own insecurities. I didn't know my dad and my mom was very neglectful. I never felt loved until I met my husband, and now it's killing me that I'm feeling that way again. I think I tend to be a bit overbearing with my "handle it right this second" attitude, but I don't know how else to handle it. |
Your DH cannot fix your insecurities. Just as you cannot fix his PTSD, he cannot fix the emotional scars you carry from your past. My DH cannot fix my issues either. No one can fix anyone else. That's the hard work facing every living being: dealing with one's own issues, working on oneself, healing one's own old wounds. Yes, you are in pain, but perhaps this pain is not entirely caused by your DH, and perhaps once you see that he cannot fix it, but you can, you will feel empowered and freed. And perhaps that will make all the difference for your marriage.
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Originally Posted by becvan Heartbroken, it really sounds like you could use a bit of therapy at the moment. (not insulting you here) I just think it might help if you could have someone to talk to yourself, to help you learn about this, to have support, to have someone to vent to, and also to help you learn about what you can do with the marital issues on your own.
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I think Bec is right. Therapy could be a good way for you to explore your own issues and learn how to deal with them. If you work on your issues and your DH works on his, you may be surprised how much better your relationship feels as you each come to it with greater emotional health, neither expecting the other to fix their problems. You can support each other, but that is a different dynamic than demanding that someone fix something that is beyond their control, perhaps.
Cowgirl