Trust... absolute trust... I would give up everything I own and live on the streets if only I could have that feeling again. I know that my husband would never do anything to hurt me but yet that fear, totally not his fault or because of anything he has done, is always hiding in some dark corner of my mind. Whenever I make a comment that demonstrates mistrust I hear it as if I were some other person and sometimes, as if I were that other person, I grab my head and yell "No! I know that isn't real!"

It must be so hard for him...

But to answer your question... no I don't think you're a bad guy for feeling like leaving and no I don't think you're an idiot for staying. If you read over what you wrote, I think you answer your own question pretty well... you see the good in her. You've fallen for her.

Just remember that she also needs to work on getting things under control and that you've got to take care of yourself if the relationship is going to work for the long term.