Reallydown. Lise. and Rachel,

Thanks you so much. It is hard to grasp all this, but reading that you have been through this and seeing that you understand helps--god I'm 46 years old and I'm crying as I write this--it's just feels so good that someone understands.

Reallydown, you said "Nobody else really can (underatnd PTSD) unless they have ptsd" I'm beginning to see this-it must be fearful for my wife as yo said Lisa. Today I lost my house keys locking myself and my dog out of the house while my wife was at work. I'm doing more things like this these days. But I hear what your saying it will take time and committment on my part. I do worry though as you Identifed Rachel, having been abused from so young an age, is it even possible to develop a sense of self--it doesn't feel like there is anything there to recover.

Thanks so much this means a lot to me.
Paul