Hi-
I'm not sure if "hero" is the right word, but they do think that all she needed was someone genuine and honest. You are correct about coping; we had a nice long talk this weekend about it and I think she realizes that she needs to handle things differently. The next day we talked some more, and she told me, "everything you said is true" - meaning that she's starting to realize that she doesn't have to be on the defensive so often or so quickly. I had told her it's not about who's right or wrong, it's about realizing that she does hear things differently from how they're presented.

My own father riddled me with guilt and for years I took things too personally, and reacted as though the person was insinuating something rather than just commenting. I learned how to react better and not be on the defensive, and it took a while but I've learned. We never get rid of all of it, but we can learn to control it better.

thanks...