I was talking to a woman I know about children. She knows some of my past history. She told me that she had been sexually abused as a child (she doens't have PTSD) and had seen sexual abuse of the women in her life (family and friends) and had made the decision to not have any children based on her experiences. Her exact words to me were 'My children are very, very safe'.

I understood exactly what she was talking about. It was one of those gut-level connections. The connection I had with her statement was because, prior to meeting my husband, I had never planned to have children. In day dreams about my future when I was a kid, I always pictured myself having a partner/husband with me. I never once had any desire for children. Looking back from where I am now to where I was then I can understand that. I was told I was loved, but always felt more like I was tolerated as a child/teen. Not a lot of support. From about the age of 10 or 11 I pretty much took care of myself and kept to myself. I never felt like I had a buffer of anyone standing in front of me. No one defending me.

That all changed when I met my husband. For probably the first time in my life I had someone who would stand up for me, tell the world that they'd have to go through him to get to me and who gave a damn about me. I also knew I had someone who would do the same for my children. That's when I changed my mind about having children.

Has anyone decided not to have children bases on their traumas and/or experiences in life in order to make sure that their children would be safe?

Lisa