Hi. Welcome to the forum.

I think you need to stop trying to diagnose yourself and get an official diagnosis from a doctor/psychiatrist. Only when you have a correct diagnosis, can the correct treatment for any illness begin.

I'm sure it is hard to motivate yourself to do this, when you find it hard to leave your appartment, and feel you have been fobbed off in the past.

If you find it hard to express just how bad things are for you, it may be worth trying to write down exactly how you feel, any physical symptoms, some of your history (why you feel traumatised), etc. This will help to collect your thoughts, and you can always show your Doctor all that you have written. (I have done this before, litterally been too distressed to talk, and instead handed my Doctor a peice of paper).

Try to stay strong and get a referal to a specialist. I'm not saying this will answer everything and make it all right, but it is a start in the right direction.

Good luck.