Thank goodness with the help of a good T. I finally learned to accept that fact. I know in the depth of my soul that I DID DO the best I could at the time. Once I realized that fact, I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders.

That does not mean that I have forgotten what I did and the things that happened and went wrong. What it means in I am not going to beat myself up for something I now know was out of my control.

I was floundering on my own with no one who knew me well enough to say "HEY I think you need to seek out some help. Something is wrong"

But finally, after a lifetime of guilt, I have been able to let go. Of course, my daughter's return to me has helped too. But I still feel the same way. "Had I Known"