SHE CAT,CHERRY BLOSSOM and RIVER GIRL

THANKYOU SO MUCH for your replies. Cherry and She Cat yes i agree i need to go to the doctor to talk about this and i like the idea of writing it down on paper and letting them read it. I am going to try and force myself to do this.

River Girl....{lol} yup...seems you are extremely similar to myself, i also dont know anyone that really has this problem to the degree that i do. For example to day is nice and sunny and really want to go out and walk or sit..and its after 3pm and i am still inside, looking out. I find it so frustrating that i only go outside for an appointment or previous arrangement. I went out for most of Monday because i attended an event and have been indoors ever since. I would really love to understand why i dont allow myself pleasurable activities.My mind is not telling me that i am not worthy of or that i cannot do these things its simply my body will not move towards doing them. I have noticed that if i have a visitor even my body language is more relaxed{as in i may sit in a different and more comfortable posture on my sofa,normally i perch on the edge} and i am more likely to put on my music or watch a movie with them that i love but {i hardly ever if at all} do it when i am alone.

{sighs} I guess my next move is a pen and some a4 sized paper,,,when i see my feelings written down i will be more likely to ring the doctor for an appointment.