Anthony

Again, nice to hear from you. Practice ---I have learned over time that when thoughts/emotions get real heavy, I try to start to think of positives. I used to lose my grip and my mind would sink and sink, and I'd be in great emotional trouble (suicide attempts/suicidal thinking). Now even though I may have suicidal thoughts at times; that is all they are - thoughts. I allow them to come and pass, and put something else in my messed up head. With EMDR, it will be a challenge to allow the memories of the days with that therapist through.

I learned at any early age to turn on and off like a switch. Numb myself when needed. At one point in my life I was able to turn physical pain on and off. Where I run into problems is when the bad stuff starts to "fester" like a boil. Then I run into emotional/mental/physical problems which I cannot control. But I am learning slowly; and I believe the EMDR will speed up that process. My assessment is this coming Friday. The closer it gets, I guess I feel somewhat apprehensive. But I suppose that is normal.

I am glad you have your children and wife to keep you going. I like to believe the strongest feeling is love. Love for those close to us. I hope everything works out with your 14-year-old.

Know what? I worked midnights last night and haven't had much sleep (couple hours), so I'm going to go try again. Take care, and talk you again.