We've both been through alot obviously. I was walking home one night around 2am in 2001 and a guy kept following beside me in his car circing the block and he got out of his car walked to the corner to see if anyone was around, so I again turned and went the other way and he had came up behind me grabbed me told me if I were to scream or fight him that he'd snap my neck right then and there. I begged him as he was dragging me in an alley to stop and was crying my eyes out which pissed him off more. After begging him not to do it, he threatened me with a knife and I just did what my gut told me to do and not fight it because he would've killed me. Afterward, he told me to walk away and not look back. I did as he said and ran as fast as I could on my recently broken ankle that I had a brace on. I screamed help as I was running and someone heard me and called the cops. He's still out there somewhere and that makes me paranoid since it was on the news. I was drugged and gang raped by 5 guys and when I woke up after about 14 hours, I had pee all over my chest and shirt from where they did god knows what to me. I'd rather not know for my own sake.
Another time, I met this football player who invited me over so I went after he assured me noone else would be there. Well, I got there nad there were nothing but guys. They kept calling me a baby saying that I'm too goody goody to drink so me being a leo, I wanted to prove them wrong. I got sick so he told me I could lay down in his room....I started blacking out and seen guys around me and I tried to say no but couldn't do to the blacking out. After I woke up, they were in the living room laughing asking me if I had fun. I left. I couldn't stop crying. I felt so disgusting like I deserved it for some reason. I just tried to accept it but I guess that can only work for so long without it entering your mind out of nowhere one day. Theres more but I'll continue that next. We have alot in common huh? My Mom would make me feel like I did it to myself because I did what she told me not to do and hung out with bad people. I did coke for a few months and was drinking everyday back in 2003 when all this happend. My fiancee and I had broken up over his drug problem and it hurt so bad that I wanted to get him off of mny mind but never could even when I was drunk. It actually made it worse. We got back together that october in 2003 and we've been together ever since and married for over 3 years. I've put him through alot with my temper and he's so understanding and supportive, which only makes me feel 10 times worse when I hurt his feelings when I blow up. I've always been blunt and open about stuff and I like to talk about my problems instead of bottle them up. It's all so confusing. I was raped by my then friends boyfriend that same year, when he wouldn't leave my house after my friend left. He kept pushing himself on me and I kept on moving and trying to stop him but he got on top of me and I fought him by trying to close my legs and push him off but he just got rougher. After he was done, he went to my kitchen and put a box of sausage biscuits under his shirt and left. I didn't say anything cause he's in a gang and I'd rather live. It's just something that hopefully one day I'll have to learn to cope with. I'd like to talk to you more so we can help each other out. I hope your doing okay.