I am worse now that I have no antidepressant in my body and I am in withdrawal, but even when I was on an antidepressant, I had far more conflicts and confrontations with people than your average person.

When something does not go the way I imagined it to go, I get rabid angry (zero to bitch in .001 seconds); I think that the other person is really trying to piss me off, hurt me, cheat me, and-- that person is really enjoying the causing me pain, the action was intentional to hurt me.

How often is this truly the case in reality? Hmmm. In the light of day I know that people do careless things and nobody is out to get me or make me made just for the hell of it. But I swear that when I am in the moment, I can't see any other option other than that the other person is intentionally grinding his heel into my neck and laughing at me.

Where does this come from? I am an incest survivor from both parents, a survivor of multiple rapes and sexual assaults of which None of the perps ever got in any trouble whatsoever (the police 'lost' my paperwork and DNA evidence) and the crimes were covered up. I have multiple physical illnesses and debilitating diseases that are very painful. I have been in a war. My PTSD comes from many sources. So you can see how I could feel like justice has always let me down, the police and those who should protect me never have done so, and the world is out to get me.

What do I do to change my automatic thought processes? I ask you for suggestions.