He hit his wife once - she hit him back and told him if he ever did it again she was gone. He just settles for having tantrums now and runs to mum to take it out on her and wind up my dad!

I have been more worried about his kids and I always look for signs that all is not well. He has a 3 year old girl with his wife and a 13 year old with a former girlfriend. He only sees his oldest girl when she comes to stay with my mum and dad. She lives with her mum and step-dad. I'm fairly sure I would know if the kids were being hurt - I picked up a few years ago that something was wrong, and it turned out that her mum's current boyfriend had hit her and told her not to tell. She was too scared to tell her mum, but she told me after some encouragement. The boyfriend immediately became and ex-boyfriend once her mum knew, and my niece and I had a long conversation about how people deserve to be treated with respect and no-one ever has justification to hit another person unless they must defend themselves or someone else.

I do feel confident that he wouldn't hurt his kids and I think that maybe you are right about him being scared of what I might say. He is a bully and a coward as well as a psycho!

I have also said to my mum that if there's ever the slightest indication of something untoward, I would call the police and social services.

I visit the family much less than I used to since I went to counselling. Mum and dad come visit me occasionally now. I miss the dog then though. They have the last of the dogs we bred when I lived at home. I hand-reared her as her mum got sick soon after giving birth. She's nearly 10 and has not been too well (she's an Irish Wolfhound and their average life expectancy is 7). As strange as it sounds - I'll probably be less inclined to go to their house once the dog has gone. I miss the dog more than I miss them! mind you - that dog's grandma was a life-saver to me. She stopped my brother from coming in my room at night - she only growled at him once and that was enough - would you argue with 150lbs of wolfhound? It's strange that an animal can protect me with one growl where my parents couldn't protect me and I couldn't protect myself. I never want to be without a dog.