Trent when i started at this forum over a year ago....I was having a huge pity party for myself too. I read and read and have learned and continue therapy.....I have learned more about myself, shared more about myself, learned how to change and improve the negative aspects of PTSD that I was unable to do on my own and at that time with a very highlt trained professional. She commente4d once that I have done more work and healing here in that year than I have with her over a number of years. This illness takes time, understanding, patience and above all a willingness to learn all that you can about yourself and others...in return you may help people along the way. There is a lot of positive people and the information that can be learned here is invaluable..IMO. You are the only one that can change the situation and you have to be the one to WANT to do that. I am living proof as are many others that this is a wonderful place to come when we need support.......I hope you try to give it a chance it will only help you and in the long run you will be the one to benefit as well as the people in your life, interpersonal relationships etc. Take care.