:) ... so what are you trying to say, Tony ... that you're observing ptsd at work ... check the name of the forum ... it's ptsd 100%...same w me, full ptsd.

And whatever the cause of my acting, reacting, deactivating ... I do thank you and some of the other experts here for showing me the truth so soon. Many thanks to you as I put things back together in survival mode and get away from all of this sympathy seeking that I've been doing. No more denial here, no more bringing up the stories, no more bothering anyone else. Alone wasn't great, but it beats getting whacked. Adios amigo.