Coping skills that I still use that do not enhance my health and happiness (okay, some of these are not nice):
- overeating
- over-drinking
- dissociating
- clenching/freezing in anxiety
- numbing/emotional deadness
- using sarcasm or lashing out to express feelings/needs
- distancing in relationships
- merging in relationships
- gossip to relieve anxiety about a relationship and to make someone else a scapegoat in an attempt to avoid taking up that role myself
- over-reading (to detach and escape from myself, not for enjoyment)
- over-watch tv (to detach and escape from myself, not for zone out enjoyment)
- holding grudges to try and protect myself (instead of learning to be assertive)
- Criticizing/blaming (to avoid having to face my fear of expressing hurt feelings)
Coping skills that do enhance my health and happiness and meet my
true needs:
- Doing emotional "check ins" throughout the day
- Doing "emotional house cleaning" when I'm 'bundged up'
- Doing cycles (type of CBT) when upset or numb or have garbage coming up
- Calling up the nurturer when in distress
- Sports
- Hiking with my dog
- Laughter (we record all the America's Funniest Home Videos!)
- Watching The Closer, my favorite show
- Watching comedy (Everybody Loves Raymond is a good one)
- Go to a movie
- Go work out with a friend
- Go to lunch with a friend
- Talk with my therapist
- Hug, cuddle, be affectionate
- Sex (if not dissociated and want/need connection)
- Try something new (if not in anxiety distress) - kayaking, a new hike, snow shoeing
- Go fly a kite - literally!
- Swing on the porch swing and enjoy the view
- Do aerobics
- Yoga/stretching
- Say what I'm feeling VERY LOUDLY (must be alone to do this)
- Meditate
- Hit the bed with a bat
- Use the punching bag
- Dance
- Read positive, uplifting stuff (not to try and override pain, but just if I need to balance out hard emotional work with lightness)
- Get a tattoo
- Take a class - starting an art class next week!
- Explore a hobby - looking into photography and going to get back into backpacking, yeah! Also, if we can afford it, possibly getting a horse within the next year or two.
Ummm...that's all I got for now.
Thanks for the topic, Cindy!
-Dylan