I hear you loud and clear at 3:05 am. My fear is this is all about to begin again for me too and..OMG..I'm so exhausted. Have been logged in for 40 min. and staring into space, not knowing what to do. Even took off nic. patch I put on less than 4hrs. ago so I could smoke cigg. I've been smoking much and refuse to cont. on like this. (Staring into space again). ...flooded this morning with cont. thought. Most of which is remem. countless episodes of my untreated PTSD and how absol. powerless I was to find help or any control. And, it wasn't from a lack of effort. WTF. Spoke w/ husband about the possibility of him staying home from work today. He mumb. "I can't" and his sigh and breathing was a strong cue to refrain from asking unless absol. necess. On overload, way too much of what I'm thinking and feeling...way too much. I can't stand the thought of doing anything to make this escalate any further, though I cannot shut my head off to sleep maybe, just maybe I can sit and and do nothing. I too don't like taking anything for sleep. In worse case..this has got to be real bad I'll take sedative to sleep.