hey, joanna. i know how you feel, been there. i would not have believed it at the time, but there is hope. there were times i wondered why take all this med, if it doesn't seem to help when things are bad. the trauma diaries here have helped me immensely, as has the experience and support of others here, and anthony(it's good to see an example of someone with ptsd that has a handle on his life) please don't feel alone, we are all over the globe, but like young and angry said, we are here for you.