Hey JoannaG,
I am around the same age as you and feel the same, but things have been looking up since I found this site.
I also find it hard to write about my trauma(s), but it's like Anthony says "baby steps." Do a little at a time and if you're not sure about sharing it with everyone, do like I'm doing; write it in the private diary where the only one person really looking at it is Anthony.
Hope today is a better day for you.
Melody