Eagle3 there was ongoing trauma in my life at the age of 4/5, now 35 yrs. later I still have never spoken a word on this. I did however participate in near 3 OTH workshops in 95, 96, 97 in which though I didn't speak on the subject, powerful emotions resulted and were released. The high intensity of it, was remarkable and much was re-lived (flashbacks) and acknow. by me for the 1st time in yrs. Not very realistic though as it cost hund. of dollars. I'm willing to do anything pract. and 'beneficial' these days as my PTSD would just randomly step in, out of the blue, take the reigns when it dam well felt like it, and threaten my families security. ('Not in an abusive way, more so in an 'I have to leave, to protect this family way.') I too have found this forum a godsend'. Typing and exposing the trauma, my own observations and the nonjudgemental feedback has in a short time already had benefits. Other trauma, (of yrs. later) such as the one I'm addressing now I have repet. and yet min. blurted out, as I would find my emotions and anxiety overwhelm. and it just had to come out. This was ineffective and frust. though as the people I'd spill it out to were preocc., involved in tv, sleep, respons., their own thought, or another subject. I'd only agitate others and come up all the worse for it.

The ways in which i've become ready is through necessity, horr. psyche pain, safe present circum., and now opportunity and surrender. Am I really loosened up about any of it? Not much, but Willing because what's the alternative?

The best to you, Eagle3