This weekend I found out that its ok to feel emotions (thanks folks!), so I let the barrier down and WHAM! too many hit at once. Cried myself to sleep and had to fight down a panic attack at school and work today. Now, I'm too exhausted from the effort to feel anything. But I know that that little step is a step in the right direction: I'm ready to face the feelings instead of ignore them or stuff them or refuse to feel anything. I have an appointment with the school counselor tomorrow...maybe now I can let her see more of what's really going on without pretending that everything is under control.

My sincere and heartfelt thanks to all for showing me that it's ok to have these feelings.