Hey Marlene, I totally understand what you mean about getting things out of your head and on to paper - it works for me too. So rant on sister! Rant on!

Your hurt feelings came through loud and clear and rang a bell with me as well. My husband also treats me differently. I don't like it, sometimes I even tell him, "you're not my Dad" and he understands he went a little too far. But in his defense, when I am unable to cook dinner or complete the laundry, he will do it after he has worked all day. He has taken on a lot of new tasks in addition to his own life. And if I completely take my ego out of the picture I can honestly say I have given my husband plenty of reasons why he should take on this parental type role with me from time to time. Because of the impact PTSD has on me, my reactions to things are different than other people. I don't always make the best decisions. Problem solving is difficult for me.

My husband is only acting as a mirror of what I am projecting out to him (confusion, self-doubt, etc.) Put that on top of a stressful day at work, worry about money, etc. and it's no wonder that your communications temporarily went down.

Yes, the kids saw the fight. They also saw you apologize and continue speaking to eachother. These are valuable lessons they need in order to have successful long-term relationships of their own. If they never saw you fight, grew up and had a relationship where there were loud disagreements, your kids may end up feeling like failures. ("my mom and dad never fought, what am I doing wrong?" etc.)
Chalk it up as a huge learning experience for everyone. Touch base with the kids and see how they are feeling about it. Talk with hubby some more. Keep those communication channels open!