I'm going to try to talk once more.. if I can't I hope I can just hug him and I'll write a letter as back up to give to him the next time I see him.

I realized that he's hurting because he's seeing me go through this and the way I'm acting isn't me. For instance, he tried to hug me and I backed away. I guess that's why I feel so awkward talking to him because I feel like a complete idiot because of that. I think he thinks he's done something but it's hurting me more to see him hurt bc of me.