Actually about two weeks before my emotional symptoms started, I began having physical ones. Pain and muscle spasms in my abdomin and lower back. Then as the emotional symptoms came out, the physical ones got worse and have spread all over the place. And when there's more pain, I get more anxious and then the pain gets worse and it's just a vicious cycle.

And I understand about the physical stuff controlling and scaring you. My father went to the doctor because he had pain on his side. They thought it was his gall bladder-turned out he had end stage cancer and died within three weeks. Yeah...pain scares the hell out of me. Every time I have some new pain or discomfort, it doesn't matter if it's my little toe, the first thought that pops into my head is 'OMG...what if it's cancer?' I've 'talked myself off of the ledge' more times than I can count. I feel like an idiot, but that's just become such a knee jerk reaction with me.

And the doctor looking at you like s/he wants to pat you on the head and send you away...that just chaps my ass. I thought these people were taught compassion for others. Hmmm...mine must have cut class that day.

Learning that a lot of things that go on in my head are from the PTSD has helped, but I've yet to learn how to turn that damned switch off in my head. Hoping to find my personal switch (or at least a dimmer knob) soon.